if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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