At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
