foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just had sex on a roof
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize