Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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