Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
