Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
