wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Ketchup is God's man juice
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i need some magic done to my vagina
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
