i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
