So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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