um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
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