All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
