I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
