When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
