Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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