Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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