I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
