is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
