No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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