I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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