also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
