So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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