So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
