I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
