The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize