so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize