If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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