are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize