Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
