i'm signing you up for texting rehab
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
