We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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