dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
