You're my little dorito
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
