just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she peed on how many people?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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