Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
