i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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