i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize