he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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