i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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