Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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