whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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