I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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