WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
