why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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