It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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