You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
