I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
