oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
