my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
