How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize