1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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