I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
