u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
