Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
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