Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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