U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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