Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So much rum. So many feels.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
