you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
