Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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