Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
