im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
