I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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