If i come over, it means nothing
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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